The War of Words & Death that Follows:

A TIME FOR REFLECTION
By Khaleel Isa

"What you are seeing," he shot, "is a rise in tensions that really emanates and is the direct result of the inability of Hamas to effectively govern in the Palestinian areas." We hold Hamas fully responsible for what happened Thursday at Rafah, both the chaos and destruction" the spokesman for Fatah declared.

"What a war Mahmoud Abbas you are launching, first against God, and then against Hamas. We joined this movement to become martyrs, not ministers," Haniyeh fired back in response, referring to Hamas loyalists' willingness to die for their cause. "The Palestinian government rejects this call for early elections and considers it a coup against Palestinian legitimacy and the will of the Palestinian people," accused Hamas legislator Mushir al-Masri in a statement Saturday. He accused Abbas of illegally calling for early elections, and announced that his plans are one "of defeat and submission to the Zionist enemy."

As I sit and listen to the non-stop gunfire coming from the streets of Gaza city, the above quotes keep running through my mind. While sitting with my colleagues and listening to their words, I see the uncertainty that can create such anxiety and insecurity, a truly horrible space for anyone to be in. Then I start examining how the build up of the events of history could have led us to the harsh reality we are witnessing now. At times, if I am not too involved with a direct event, I am able to explore the arguments or righteousness of the one who had something to say. I used to be very good at listening to and analyzing the intended meanings of the leaders of Palestine, before. But today if I could only ask our leaders: Does the aggression against your brother, make your viewpoint heard more powerfully?? Does the emotional, psychological and physical instability and fear seen in the eyes of your own community justify the divisive and bloody means? How do our Palestinian leaders, make rational sense of this dangerously, chaotic and deeply, sad time for Palestine and Her people?

What is on my mind now is more uncertainty and deep fear. Fear that more Palestinians will be killed by the hands of other Palestinians. I reflect on how the thoughts and emotions from the leaders of Palestine, can bring overwhelming numbness and anxiety, while provoking uncertainty. And then what I wonder is if anyone has a plan in mind? Or are all the players simply doomed to continuously react to one tragic event after another, creating a domino effect of yet more harsh realities. Is the discussion or thought of strategies and future visions even brought up in political discourse??

Living in Palestine, we are surrounded by, and often witness surreal and unimaginable images and a never ending dichotomy of circumstances. You see and experience some of the most callous acts of human cruelty imaginable. Just a few days ago, I witnessed an Israeli soldier ask a mother to put her 5 month baby in the x-ray machine to see if it is a bomb! Let us not forget, there is the Israeli Military incursions, we have long ones and short ones in the Palestinian lands. Some of these Military Israeli incursions, have become so normalized, because they happen SO often without any war criminal tribunal system, that it often becomes a second thought to Palestinians who are not in that particular incursions. Unless such blatant War Crimes like Beit Hanoun occur - I have grown accustomed to unconsciously descentize my emotional self with my daily routine.

But over the past week, since the blatant killing of those children, by Palestinians, I wonder if the invisible coping mechanisms which one develops as a way to defend this unfair life, is destined to take over even when it is at the cost of their own Community in struggle? Should I not reflect and then change this part of my mental psyche, or just allow the overwhelming pain to justify my behavior? Is this not the rat race that so many before us, expressed to beware of?

Today when I look at myself in the mirror what I see inside is rage. Rage from the facts that have occurred and are replayed in my memory. Rage from the exhaustion of feeling sad and uncared for. Rage at the lies that I constantly hear about our Palestinian society. Rage from the pain and injustice, that I constantly see in the children and families who never deserved the wrath inherited by their sordid history; with no positive sign of hope in sight. My rage is compounded by the hopelessness of bankrupt policies and visionless leadership, which guides our world today.

The dysfunctional effects of the cruel years, built upon layers of misguided efforts, have left on our doorstep a testimony of what we are witnessing today. This period can be seen as an inevitable convergence in our history. I only hope that we can begin a kind of healing process in order to make right all of the wrongs.

So today I ask of my Palestinian family members from Jenin, to Jerusalem to Rafah to Nablus, to Beit Hanoun to Ramallah, to stop and take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself what you see, and feel. For me I see the image of blatant US-Israel Led imperial media trickery in front of my face. I see this 60 year senseless Illegal occupation-which has displaced, killed, tormented and maimed so many, taking a toll on my own emotional sensibility and rational framework.

The idea that it is someone's fault, or they one group is solely to blame, is the same rhetoric that I have heard from Israel when killing or displacing Palestinians, as well as from the U.S. government when creating the so called "Democratic violent havoc values" and senseless death within Iraq. We have reached a situation today, that if not all of us individually are to take responsibility for, we will respectively lose and disregard the same human life that we so long have been fighting so hard to defend and honor. I ask for all of us to look in the mirror and see how we all can stop the same blame game, that has colonized our people and left us feeling unheard and uncared for since the Nekba began, and before.

Brothers and Sisters of Palestine, are we so emotionally damaged from these years of being treated so unfairly, that we should allow this type of senseless violence to be justified? In the name of our children's future let us listen to the Great Grand Mothers and Grand Fathers of Palestine. Hear their voices, listen to their emotional memories and pain. Let us be empowered by respecting the souls of the Martyrs of Palestine. Why should we create more blood, when the choice is in our hands?

When I look in the mirror what do I see - I am neither Fatah, nor Hamas. I am a Palestinian, who loves my brothers and sisters. I know if you look in the mirror, I know your answer will be no different than mine. I hear my ancestors singing loudly- without me there is no we, and without the WE, there will never be a ME. Today, yesterday and tomorrow, we are constantly reflecting moments that we can no longer afford to ignore.

For the souls of our ancestors, and the children of Palestine - we call on our leaders and affiliated parties to stop the violence in the streets of Palestine!
"I call on our brothers in Hamas to practice restraint ... to protect Palestinian blood," Meshal in a live radio interview from his base in the Syrian capital of Damascus. "Our battle is against the occupation, and we will not be dragged into a civil war."

In solidarity for Palestinian Rights and Justice

From Occupied Palestine Territories- Gaza

Dr. Khaleel Isa is a psychologist working with UNRWA in the West Bank and Gaza Strip. He can be reached at isakhaleel@yahoo. com